First step and a crucial step in changing undesirable aspects of your life: Own every experience that happens in your life. Owning your experiences is declaring your power over them. It is a statement of being the creator. Running from it or acting as a victim only creates more separation between you and reality. It makes reality more powerful and diminishes your power to change your life.
Running around trying to change life externally is also an act of separation. It is an act of being disempowered compared to reality. Your power is within, not without. Find out how you created the experience. Change the belief that created it and then act as if the change has happened within you. Know that your reality will change. After all, it is your reality. But don’t look to the reality for the change. This is once again another statement of separation and puts the power within the reality. You are in charge.
If you are going to be the creator you are going to have to be creative rather than reactive. True creativity to create something new, whether it be a new painting or a new reality, takes some courage to stick to your vision. Reactivity is sticking with old patterns and succumbing to the current trends because it is easier to do so or because of a fear of failure.
Speaking of failure, failure to create your preferred reality is nothing more than an opportunity to uncover a hidden belief within you that is out of alignment with your preference. If you did not have an out of alignment belief you would have the reality you prefer. Simple as that. So rejoice no matter what happens in your journey to create your preferred reality. Because if you use your failures as learning experiences and to clarify your internal picture, they will have served you just as positively as any success. In reality then, they will all have been successes.