There is more than one way to define love. There is more than one way to define abundance. There is more than one way to define life. There is more than one way to define power. There is more than one way to define joy. There is more than one way to define god. The essence of a definition is not the way it is defined, but rather the definition itself.
Every requirement is self-created. There are no external requirements of you. There is no yardstick that you must measure up against to prove your worth. All goals and all the resulting sense of success and failure are also self-created. The truth is that every endeavour you take part in is solely because you want to take part in it. There are no expectations for your life. There is no serious chore you must undertake to reach the promised land. All of it is self-created. So lighten up on yourself.
So what if society tries to hold you to its expectations so that it can fulfill its own expectations? There is no external expectation of society either. The goals and expectations of society for itself (whatever they may be), are self-created. Is it worth it to give up your freedom and joy for some arbitrary societal goal that society itself created? Furthermore, if society’s expectations are created for our well-being and happiness, why are so many us unhappy even if we abide by those expectations? Also, as members that make up our society, wouldn’t it be ideal and shouldn’t we strive to contribute in our own unique way by sharing our self-chosen joyous creations, leading to the creation of a society that reflects the true joy of its members?
Once again, this all gives rise to one of the core questions that has been asked numerous times in this blog ever since it began: are you doing what makes you happy? And if not, why not? Why limit your joy by holding yourself to others’ expectations of how you should behave? The idea is to live your life the way you want to live it, simply for the fun of living it.
So the only reason to go to school is because you want to go, and because you enjoy learning there. The only reason to work somewhere is because you want to work there, and you enjoy the work. The only reason to create anything is because you want to create it. The only reason to live at all is because you want to do so, and because you enjoy it.
So much of our pain is the result of striving to meet some external requirement, yet none of us have yet reached that requirement. This is because it isn’t there.
There is no single set requirement you must fulfill in order to prove your worth, because that requirement is constantly changing. In other words, there is no requirement at all. You cannot prove your worth to anybody else by measuring up to their expectations of what makes you worthy.
If you live to please others and meet their expectations, there will be a day when you fail. It is an impossibility to fulfill everyone’s expectations of you, or even all of one person’s expectations of you. And yet, this is what we strive to do, and it is sucking the joy out of our lives.
The solution is to live within yourself, with joy and unconditional love, knowing that you are living for yourself. Do what you want to do for the joy of doing it. Forget about the requirements and expectations because there simply aren’t any.