Remember this: someone who truly loves you will do so unconditionally. A person who loves you conditionally doesn’t really love you; they love who they think you should be and they ask you- or try to force you- to deny certain portions of yourself in order to meet their conditions. This is against your nature as an infinite being. It is your true nature to be unconditionally loving and loved. It is your true nature to be free and to choose to be whoever you prefer to be. So a person who truly loves you will always seek to recognize your freedom. They will not ask anything of you that you do not choose to give. They will honor and cherish the true you, always.
I used to believe I could be a positive person by denying negativity. I used to try to deny all the negative portions of myself and anything that reminded me of that negativity. I used to lash out at others for not appearing to be perfect, because I was trying to appear perfect by denying the parts of me that they were expressing and reminding me of. I used to think that a positive person doesn’t have any negative thoughts and doesn’t perceive any negativity, so I spent a lot of time and effort trying to deny negative thinking. I used to think I had to deny my current situation in order to get to where I want to be. Now I know none of this is true.
Now I know true positivity is created by acceptance, not denial. It is the product of accepting myself unconditionally, because there is no condition which I do not contain in some form. This acceptance then gives me the power to choose which part of myself I prefer to express and experience, because I took the focus away from denying what I didn’t want. Now I know true positivity comes from seeing my own worth even when I am at my lowest. It is letting go of the idea that my worth is dependant on how much and how well I deny that which I think makes me unworthy. It is truly accepting the lowest in me as well as the highest. True positivity comes from seeing the validity of all choices- and letting go the belief that I am acceptable only when I express certain parts of myself, namely the positive ones.
True positivity comes from knowing that not one of us doesn’t contain that which we try to deny. We have all been negative people at various points in our lives. There have been times where we have been overtly hostile to others. There have been times where we have made mistakes and failed. This doesn’t make us unacceptable at all. Imagine if our support from life was dependant on us being perfect. None of us would be supported and none of us would be here to discuss our worth in the first place! The truth is, that which we attempt to deny will always be a part of us and will always be there as a choice, should we decide to experience it again. We will never get rid of the rage, judgment, hatred, guilt, ignorance, lack or anything else. They will always be there, and we will perceive them no matter how positive we choose to be. It’s just that when we are truly positive they will be equally acceptable choices and not something we are actively trying to deny. That is the difference between true and artificial positivity.