The Youniverse

The ego is that part of our beings that we know. It is the top most portion of our being, the tip of the iceberg. It is created out of and rests on the solid foundation of the iceberg that is the rest of our true being. Yet it doesn’t know this fact, because the rest of our being is submerged and hidden within the depths of the ocean that is the Unknown.

Being the only known portion of our being, the ego clings to the known. It obsesses over the physical aspects of reality, clinging to the world that it can touch, feel, smell, taste or hear, while deeply mistrusting all that invisible spiritual or non-physical nonsense (to it).

The ego plays up the permanency of the current situation in Life, pretending that what is so right now will be so forever more or that it must remain so forever more in order for it (the ego) to survive. It also spends vast amounts of energy trying to create permanency by accumulating as much knowledge as possible, in an attempt to pacify its fear and attempt to know how the future will occur. In gaining this knowledge, it usually operates by analyzing the past, while using this analysis in the present in order to create a type of knowable and predictable cycle into the future. How many of us live in various types of these predictable cycles? 

The ego’s game is all an illusion though. You see, it knows that every moment begins with a dive into the Unknown, into the rest of our being, but it deeply fears that Unknown, so it tries to cover up its fear by creating expectations in order to create the illusion of predicting what is in the Unknown. It creates the illusion that the Unknown doesn’t really exist, when it surely and truly does. You know that babbling in your head about what you think is going to happen next, or what that person thinks of you, or some other chatter? That’s the ego clouding your awareness of the Unknown.

The ego becomes more and more paranoid and anxious, as more and more expectations are not met and it realizes that no matter how much it knows, the future still remains largely unknown and unpredictable. This paranoia then tends to cloud its operations, limiting the actions it allows us to take to actions that will create as knowable an outcome as possible. An example: It encourages us to stay at the job we hate because at least it knows that there is a paycheck waiting for us every two weeks or so.

Operating under a thick layer of expectations, the ego is also the portion of us that gets upset when Life takes one of its many unpredictable and inevitable turns. It then uses the evidence of that unpredictability to create more paranoia and more anxiety, creating an increasingly restrictive and suffocating life experience in the process.

What is the solution to this mess then? Many spiritual thinkers think the way is to subvert the ego in some way, so that we can realize the true nature of our being. I partially agree with this idea, but I do not see the ego as something that needs subverting, but rather enlightening. I see the ego as a valuable portion of our being, one that allows us to experience the separation that causes the experience of physical reality. I believe it needs enlightenment so that it perceives the foundation of the solid iceberg upon which it, the tip, rests.

The ego must understand that its fear of the iceberg, of the Unknown, is what is causing the fearful experiences to rise up from it. It must learn to realize the futility of attempting to know the Unknown, and instead learn to trust the Unknown. It must learn that the Unknown is not an alien force trying to destroy it, but rather that it is the rest of its own being. It must learn that surrendering in vulnerability to the Unknown is not laying down to die, but rather waking up to really live. It must learn that the Unknown is the source of its power and that trying to control the Unknown by creating expectations and restricting actions in order to predict the movement of Life is like the tip of the iceberg trying to control the foundation. It has been a very tiring job trying to control that iceberg, and the poor ego deserves a rest, don’t you think? 

I just finished reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle and came out of it surprised at how much insight I gained into myself. In it, Tolle talks a lot about the dysfunction in our lives caused by our association with our ego and disassociation with our Being or our True Self, which gives birth to the ego.

I clearly saw myself taking part in many of the ego-driven negative activities he mentions throughout the book. A few I remember: acting superior- albeit subtly, when I have more knowledge than someone else (“Oh my god, I can’t believe you don’t know that”); making sure my opinion is heard when there is a group discussion; being understood- which for me means getting another person to agree with my perspective, which then gives my perspective the legitimacy it needs, in my own eyes. 

A real revelation came upon me when Tolle offers suggestions on how to realize the illusion of the negative ego. Some of these suggestions: not adding my own opinion when there is a group discussion and choosing to just listen instead; or allowing myself to feel diminished through criticism and realizing that it is the ego that feels diminished and that there is a deeper part of me that is untouched. This deeper part is Being, which is the infinite and eternal awareness which gives birth to the ego and everything else in my experience.

Through the realization of my Being I understood that it is the negative ego or the voice in my head, that gives me my feeling of being diminished or fears for my survival or resists and fights against my reality and the others I share it with. It is also the ego that drives me to have more of everything, diminish others and their accomplishments, and take part in other negative, separative activities to overcome its own feelings of insecurity and deficiency. The ego tries to stick out and make itself more important because it fears for its own survival and believes itself to be separate from everything else. 

Through reading Tolle’s book, I have also gained even more insight into my unconscious, negative, ego-driven behaviours, which has allowed me to make some changes in how I behave. I now become aware of these behaviours and the thought patterns that generate these behaviours, which then allows me to realize that I’ve fallen into the mind-set of the negative ego.This then gives me the opportunity to fall back into Being and reset my thinking and behaviour so that they reflect the positive aspects of Being I wish to express. 

To sum it up then, I believe this book is great. I’ve had it for years and tried to read it much earlier, but I wasn’t ready for it at that point. I wasn’t that advanced into my spiritual transformation and so much of the book didn’t really make sense. Now that I’m ready though, the book has greatly added to my understanding of my self and it has had a very positive influence on me. I definitely recommend it to anyone who is on their own spiritual journey. 

I’ve been listening to Eckhart Tolle talk about the “I” and the difference between the true “I” and the story of who the “I” is. The true “I” is pure awareness. It is the eternal formless space that holds the story we tell ourselves about who we think we are. The identity we thought we had is only an illusory self based on nothing more than a story. Our name, our past, the job we have, our relationships, are all just part of this story. They aren’t really who we are. Who we are is the awareness that holds all those things in place. Knowing this frees us up from being trapped in the mind and the story we tell and gives us the power to create a new story and a new illusory identity if we wish. The difference this time is that we will know that the new identity is temporary and illusory and that when we get tired of it we can change it. It gives us the power to be free and puts an end to suffering. The suffering we hold now is because of the story we tell ourselves about who we are. The burdens are part of our story and give us our identity. Strangely, this means there is a part of us that wants to hold on to the burdens and wants to suffer. This is why we hold on to our false identity so strongly. We would feel naked without it. 

The inner ego is a portion of the self, for example — is the portion of your self — that is aware of your reincarnational activities. It is the part of you that exists outside of time, yet simultaneously lives in time.

You form your own reality.

The ego that you are aware of obviously could not form your body for you, however, or grow your bones. It knows how to assess the conditions of the world. It makes deductions. Your reasoning is highly important, yet alone it cannot pump your blood or tell your eyes how to see.

The inner ego does the actual work that brings about the events you have decided upon.