“There is definitely a feeling of strength that comes with the willingness to be honest. It feels so powerful to just let go and be me. No more hiding. No more denial. No more fucks given. Just clear intentions, clear choices, clear emotions, clear action and clear experience. I love this new sense of clarity, honesty, strength and liberation.”—
“Meditation doesn’t cause you to deny reality. It causes you to deny the limited thinking and expectation about that reality. It causes you to see and accept the true reality outside of your thoughts about it. It allows you to see the infinite possibilities available to you, outside that realm of thought and expectation.”—
Meditation helps you break away from the process of thinking and its limited perspective and the denial of other possibilities created by this limitation.
Meditation allows you see the moment much more deeply, putting you in touch with the fact that this moment contains an infinite number of equally valid possibilities within it.
Meditation helps you see that the reality of the moment is much, much deeper than your thoughts allow you to see.
Meditation also helps you see that the reality of you, and everyone else is much deeper than your thoughts allow you to see.
The perception of this depth allows you to be accepting and unconditionally loving in a way that limited perception doesn’t.
Meditation helps you see that there is freedom available in each moment, and all it takes to experience it is a true acceptance of the moment as it is.
Meditation helps develop the skill to quiet the mind’s limited thoughts about the moment, which then allows you to accept the moment as it truly is, rather than just a limited facet of it that your mind perceives. This acceptance and freedom is what allows you to consciously create your life rather than just automatically reacting to it through old, limited thoughts. It allows you to be much more creative.
Meditation helps you give yourself the ecstatic freedom to choose any possibility available to you now.
Through meditation you can see that life isn’t what you previously thought it was, and that is whatever you choose for it to be.
Meditation gives a depth and aliveness to life that robotic, automatic thinking does not.
Being completely accepting of yourself means you let go of the idea of what you should be. It means you stop invalidating portions of yourself by labeling them as things you shouldn’t be. Instead, everything is given acceptance, validation and unconditional love.
Through acceptance you see everything as a part of you- all equally valid parts that make you who you truly are, which is that which is all of it. You are All-That-Is and you contain it all.
Through acceptance you stop denying even one moment of your life in the hopes of getting it to be what you think it should be. You stop denying the “inferior” present in order to validate a “better” future. You accept it all- making every choice an equal choice and every outcome an equal outcome. You let go of expectations and dive willingly and peacefully into the Unknown.
Through acceptance you realize who you truly are, and you are free to be anything you choose to be.
“Conditional happiness isn’t really happiness and conditional love isn’t really love because conditions are always changing. True happiness and love are unconditional. They are not based on any set of conditions but are simply the result of a decision to be unconditionally happy and loving.”—
“True happiness starts with unconditional self-validation. Without unconditional self-validation you will always strive to meet the conditions you think you need to meet in order to become valid and worthy. Your life will become a never-ending miserable search for validation, because you will find that the external conditions of validation always change. This isn’t because there are actually some ever-changing conditions that you must meet, but rather because there are no conditions at all. You are unconditionally worthy- all it takes for you to realize this is for you to simply admit it.”—
“Remember this: someone who truly loves you will do so unconditionally. A person who loves you conditionally doesn’t really love you; they love who they think you should be and they ask you- or try to force you- to deny certain portions of yourself in order to meet their conditions. This is against your nature as an infinite being. It is your true nature to be unconditionally loving and loved. It is your true nature to be free and to choose to be whoever you prefer to be. So a person who truly loves you will always seek to recognize your freedom. They will not ask anything of you that you do not choose to give. They will honor and cherish the true you, always.”—
“Unconditional love means no apologies are needed. It doesn’t require anything from anyone. It is total acceptance, so there is no need for denial or dishonesty. There is no need for justification either. It erases everything except for complete free choice.”—
Your feeling of guilt or shame is your attempt to create a positive self through denial. This never truly works though, because your denial is an admittance that you contain that which you seek to deny. In other words, you can never escape that which makes you feel guilty or shameful. Those aspects are a part of your being, no matter how much you wished they weren’t. So the guilt will never go away until you accept yourself fully.
It is acceptance of yourself- your whole self- that brings out the true goodness in you- not denial. A truly positive self is created out of an unconditional acceptance of yourself. Denial and the guilt or shame behind it keeps you from accepting the goodness of life. It keeps you from feeling worthy of being loved and accepted. When you don’t feel worthy of accepting goodness then you won’t receive it, and you definitely won’t have any goodness to share with anybody else. You won’t feel truly happy and you won’t be able to share anything other than misery to anybody else. This then has the potential to create a cycle of misery and continued guilt, for you and the people close to you.
So the way to create a truly joyful experience and a truly joyful world is to let go of guilt and shame. Nobody is undeserving of the goodness of life, because nobody is separate from that which they think makes them undeserving. Life knows this and supports you as you truly are- the being that includes the portions of yourself you try to deny. You were created and are supported unconditionally. There is no part of you that offends the universe or life or god. When you realize this, and accept yourself fully, you’ll be kind to yourself. When you’re kind to yourself you will allow others and the universe itself to be kind to you. When you allow the universe to be kind to you, you will find very little reason to be unhappy. You will feel unconditionally supported, because you are! You are supported in the belief of your own unworthiness, because that part of you is equally worthy and valid in the universe’s eyes!
Finally, when you have felt and absorbed this unconditional love and support, you will also be kind to others because you’ll see their own true integrated nature and unconditional deservability. This is the basis of creating an unconditionally loving experience, and an experience that mirrors the unconditionally loving nature of life.
I used to believe I could be a positive person by denying negativity. I used to try to deny all the negative portions of myself and anything that reminded me of that negativity. I used to lash out at others for not appearing to be perfect, because I was trying to appear perfect by denying the parts of me that they were expressing and reminding me of. I used to think that a positive person doesn’t have any negative thoughts and doesn’t perceive any negativity, so I spent a lot of time and effort trying to deny negative thinking. I used to think I had to deny my current situation in order to get to where I want to be. Now I know none of this is true.
Now I know true positivity is created by acceptance, not denial. It is the product of accepting myself unconditionally, because there is no condition which I do not contain in some form. This acceptance then gives me the power to choose which part of myself I prefer to express and experience, because I took the focus away from denying what I didn’t want. Now I know true positivity comes from seeing my own worth even when I am at my lowest. It is letting go of the idea that my worth is dependant on how much and how well I deny that which I think makes me unworthy. It is truly accepting the lowest in me as well as the highest. True positivity comes from seeing the validity of all choices- and letting go the belief that I am acceptable only when I express certain parts of myself, namely the positive ones.
True positivity comes from knowing that not one of us doesn’t contain that which we try to deny. We have all been negative people at various points in our lives. There have been times where we have been overtly hostile to others. There have been times where we have made mistakes and failed. This doesn’t make us unacceptable at all. Imagine if our support from life was dependant on us being perfect. None of us would be supported and none of us would be here to discuss our worth in the first place! The truth is, that which we attempt to deny will always be a part of us and will always be there as a choice, should we decide to experience it again. We will never get rid of the rage, judgment, hatred, guilt, ignorance, lack or anything else. They will always be there, and we will perceive them no matter how positive we choose to be. It’s just that when we are truly positive they will be equally acceptable choices and not something we are actively trying to deny. That is the difference between true and artificial positivity.
Hey. Where do you get all those nice quotes. Do you write them? Or do you find them in my head ? :-)
I’m glad you like the quotes! Haha, I do write most of them, but they could be coming from your head for all I know! They just pop in my head when I get the urge to write or sometimes just when I’m going about my day. :)
“True love for yourself is unconditional. It embraces your full self, including the portions of yourself you attempt to deny in your attempts to be loved and accepted. True love for another is also unconditional. It embraces their full self, not just some version of them you try to create through your expression and withdrawal of conditional love towards them.”—
“The truth is, god or life doesn’t ask anything to be less than its true self. It doesn’t ask for denial, but acceptance. That is why there is no justification needed for you to deserve anything. It’s because god or life sees the whole you- the real you- that you attempt to deny in your attempts to become deserving. Its love is unconditional, so it embraces you fully. If its love was conditional then that love is not really for you, but for something less than who you truly are. So the truth is that not once have you fallen out of god or life’s grace. Not once did you not deserve what you desired.”—
Be careful with these deservability statements. As far as the universe or life is concerned, you don’t need a justification to deserve anything. You deserve it all, unconditionally.
Do you believe that? You didn’t need to do anything to deserve existence in the first place, so why do you believe there are suddenly conditions placed upon you in order to continue to be deserving? Why do you think you have to be “good” and deny certain portions of yourself to deserve what you want? You may convince yourself that you don’t contain the things you are trying to deny- the hate, anger, ignorance, jealousy, rage, and so on- but, even though you don’t know it, your denial is really an admittance, because why deny something that isn’t there?
Denial never truly works, and soon you will face what you have tried to deny. Then you will come to realize that you contain what you thought you didn’t. Then you will probably go asking for forgiveness from god for being a sinful person (if you are religious), promising to again deny the “sinful” parts of you that you have just faced. This cycle then continues, until you realize (or more likely just decide) that asking for forgiveness is unnecessary and you begin to fully accept your true, infinite self. Finally you then come to realize that you truly are, or at least can be, unconditionally deserving.
The truth is, god or life doesn’t ask anything to be less than its true self. It doesn’t ask for denial, but acceptance. That is why there is no justification needed for you to deserve anything. It’s because god or life sees the whole you- the real you- that you attempt to deny in your attempts to become deserving. Its love is unconditional, so it embraces you fully. If its love was conditional then that love is not really for you, but for something less than who you truly are. So the truth is that not once have you fallen out of god or life’s grace. Not once did you not deserve what you desired.
Now realizing this, you can decide to love yourself and all others in the same way- unconditionally. Then your love is for your true self and not some version you created through denial. Then your love is for true others and not for some version you are trying to create through the expression and withdrawal of your conditional love. Then your love is for true life and not some version you were trying to create in the same way you were trying to create others.
Deny nothing; embrace everything and choose what you prefer to express and experience through unconditional love.
“We are all on self-created journeys. There is no point to the journey other than the one we have made up and continue to make up.
Don’t let others convince you there is something you must do or someone you must be before you can be considered worthy and successful. There isn’t. It’s up to each of us what we decide to be, do and have. That is how much power and value we have.
We have been given the enormous power to be self-determined and self-created beings. We have been given the power to literally create our lives. Don’t let others convince you to use that invaluable power for their own purposes. You decide for yourself and for your own experience.”—
“I realize now that I haven’t been very kind to myself and that is why life has been shitty to me. There is no other reason. I have been striving to become worthy and now I realize that the striving was made up, and the only person I had to convince of my worth was myself. It is not my life situation or circumstance that determines my worth, unless I say so. If I accept myself as worthy right now, there is nothing in life that will contradict that acceptance.”—
“Unconditional love stems from a recognition of each person’s inherent and natural ability to choose. Fear, guilt and judgment attempt to invalidate certain choices, and consequently diminish the ability to make those choices. They are the opposite of unconditional love.”—
“Life doesn’t support you. You support you. Life doesn’t get more fun. You make life more fun. Life doesn’t become easier. You make life easier. Conversely, life isn’t serious. You make it serious. Life isn’t hard. You make it hard. Life isn’t scary. You make it scary. Life doesn’t become anything other than what you make it. Through this realization you gain both the ultimate freedom and the ultimate responsibility for your own experience.”—
“One day you will realize that everything in your life was self-chosen. Nothing was done to you. Life didn’t have any expectations of you, at all. There was nothing you were supposed to be, so there could never be any judgment or condemnation.
You will realize that you didn’t need to be so hard on yourself or on others. You will realize that you were using freedom and unconditional love to choose limitation and judgment.
You will realize that all the things you thought you had to do and the person you thought you had to be were self-created illusions. None of it was true. You were, are now and always will be completely free. Unless you don’t believe it.”—
“We yearn to let go of our expectations and live in the moment. We want to decide openly and freely based on what we prefer in the moment, not based on some distant future. Nobody can decide the distant future anyway, and as we don’t like the feeling of not being able to decide, we want to let go of our expectations about what it contains. Our minds won’t let us though. To them everything is about the future and too often their decisions in the present moment are not based on vivid experience but on vague thoughts and expectations. This confuses the body to a certain degree because it only acts on decisions in the moment. It cannot really act based on future plans, but when it tries to do so it’s actions are hesitant. The mind’s vagueness along with the hesitancy and fearful behaviour of the body adds up to an experience that isn’t very enjoyable or full of life. In fact it feels kind of dead. To bring ourselves back to life then, and bring us back to our joy, we must let go of what we cannot decide and act on what we can decide, in the moment.”—
“Each of us is That Which Decides, expressing through a particular form or a particular decision. Deep down we know this and this is why we rebel anytime we feel our ability to decide is being hampered. We are freedom loving beings because we are freedom itself.
At our core we don’t really care about being positive or negative- we just care to be free to decide whether to be positive or negative- or a combination of the two. This is why we rebel even when someone tries to force us to decide to be positive towards ourselves. We want to be the ones who decide whether to pick up that cigarette or not. We want to be the ones who decide whether to go to school or not. We always want to decide for ourselves, because deep down we yearn to be free and to be unconditionally loved and loving. We want to feel the power of decision and the validation of our own decisions. This is where true positivity stems from anyway- when it is freely decided upon. When we decide to be positive for ourselves, and are conscious of the fact that it is our decision, we stick with it in a way that we would not if we thought it was being forced on us.
This is why everything in life stems from opportunity and not obligation. If life were truly limited and based on obligation we would rebel against it and destroy it and ourselves, or we would be miserable trying to protect ourselves from the horrible limitations of life- as we are doing now, because we believe life is limiting us- not because it is actually doing so. That is how much we love our freedom.
Opportunity allows for true freedom and conscious decision making. Obligation takes that away. Almost all the rebelling that has gone on, is going on now or will go on around the world stems from a feeling that opportunity is being artificially limited by authority of some kind. The rebellion will only end when opportunity is afforded equally to all.
Our rebellion against fear is also based on this idea. Fear tries to obligate us to behave in certain ways by promising to keep us safe. We hate that, no matter how safe it makes us. We will always strive to be open and to conquer our fears. It’s not that we want to risk it all and jump off a cliff without a parachute just to conquer our fear of heights. We want to be able to choose whether to risk it or not. Fear clouds that choice by making it seem as if we have to choose what it is telling us. We won’t ever take that.
More of us are practicing meditation every day, because of the relief it affords us from the limited thoughts of the mind. Meditation refreshingly reminds us that we aren’t those thoughts, but the awareness behind those thoughts. The awareness of this awareness gives us the power to decide our thoughts, words and behaviours rather than unconsciously acting them out. Ultimately we are after expressing the power to decide, even when it comes to the realm of our minds.”—
You are who you decide to be. So to be conscious of who you’re being, take a look at your decisions. If they don’t speak of who you want to be, look to change them. Be honest about them. If you cannot be honest about your decisions that is usually the first sign that you’re deciding to be someone you don’t really prefer to be. Your decisions, if they are truly yours, will probably make your eyes light up with joy and excitement. You will probably feel proud to share them or express them openly. If they don’t get you excited then why are you choosing them?
If your decisions are what you prefer, but if you cannot be honest about them to others, then you most likely have an issue with validating yourself. Remember: you are your decisions, so invalidating them by denying them or feeling like you have to deny them is usually a sign of invalidating and denying yourself. Stand up for your decisions! Stand up for who you are! Speak in terms of what you have decided to be, do and have in life. Stop speaking in terms of deciding something because you felt you were obligated to do so. There are very few things you are obligated to do- such as following laws and whatnot. Some may say even those things can be decided against, so they aren’t really obligations per se.
Make sure your decisions are truly your decisions and not just decisions that are meant to follow others. The first clue that you have decided something that isn’t you is the negative emotions you feel while you decide it. The fundamental negative emotion stems from a denial of who you truly are, which is the actual ability to decide. You are the creator- the infinite being- deciding to make decisions through this particular expression that is your particular body and viewpoint. You are free to decide anything you choose; that is your free nature. To attempt to take away that ability through artificial limitations placed on you from without is an infringement of your free nature, and this will always bring about a negative emotion. This is why religion, government and all other external authority always brings up negativity within you, and every other living thing. This is why it hurts to believe in limitation of any kind; it limits your awareness of your ability to decide, and this always hurts. Even if you have decided something negative you will only respond positively if you believe you are the one choosing to change- not some external force attempting to change you.
So you are the ability to decide, but you cannot know that unless you decide, freely! When you think in terms of obligation and artificial limitation (Natural limitation is one you have chosen. Artificial limitation is one attempted to be put on you from without), you lose touch with your greater identity as That Which Decides. Once you get in touch with the freedom of making your own decisions- and the joy that comes with it- you will never seek to take that ability away from another. This is how harmony works. It is a conscious decision to allow oneself and others to decide for themselves.
When you see yourself as the actual ability to decide, you let go of thoughts of “right” and “wrong” and even “positive” and “negative”. There are no value judgments when it comes to being truly free. It is truly up to each of us to freely decide to be who we prefer to be, just because! You need no reason to decide anything other than the reason you give it. This is true creation. This is coming up with your own answers and being the actual creator of your own experience.
You are not better than anybody else because of what you have decided. You do not need to decide something to be as worthy or happy as somebody else. Just decide for yourself. Be yourself and you will be happy in each moment.
Nothing is decided for you. You are the one deciding to create the experiences of your life. You have been the one who has decided your experience so far. You are the one deciding to give meaning to life in the way you do. You are the one deciding whether to listen to others over your own inner voice. You are the one deciding whether to read this and absorb it. You are the one who will decide whether to implement this into your own life or not. It’s all up to you. It has always been up to you. You just decided to forget this.
Love your ability to decide. Love yourself unconditionally. Let go of thoughts of limitation. Let go of judgment. Let go of thoughts of “better” and “worse”. Let go of thoughts of “good” and “bad”. Let go of thoughts and just go with experience. Make decisions based on what you desire to experience. That’s it. Just let everything else go.
Your answer determines the type of experience life will be for you.
There is no right or wrong answer! This is one you get to make up! That’s what freedom is all about. That’s what being a creator is all about.
So make up your answer. It’s a question that requires a general answer, because specific answers will always change. If you say your life is generally about having fun, your specific decision about what is fun for you may change in different circumstances and moments. So go general, come up with an answer that feels true to you and live that answer! Tell your truth everyday through the living of your life.
Remember: Life is listening to you and giving you experiences based on what you decide is your truth in each moment. So stop paying attention to everybody else’s truth for a moment- or a bunch of moments- and make your own decision. Be true to you and what makes your heart sing.
“Unconditional love means the ability to choose. Life is unconditionally loving of each of us because we have all been choosing what life means to us and experiencing the results of those choices. Change your choices about what life is about for you, if you’re unhappy with them, and choose to make life about fun and joy, in whatever way you’ve imagined fun and joy for you. You’ll see everything change for you in front of your eyes, and you’ll realize the incredible power you have to shape your experience of life.”—
Life isn't fun? Decide that you want it to be and it will be fun.
"Life isn’t fun."
“Life doesn’t work that way. You can’t have fun and games all the time.”
“Life is about this.” “Life is about that.”
How many times do we project our own feelings and perspective onto life, as if it decides how we experience it?
The truth is, every time we think we’re describing life we’re describing ourselves and our perspective.
Life isn’t fun enough for you? Make it fun! Fun is all about attitude and attitude is completely decided by you. Nothing in life contradicts your choice to have fun, if you choose it.
We have been waiting a long time for life to become fun or enjoyable. Little did we know that life never becomes anything until we decide it can be a certain way for us.
How many of us have been waiting for life to encourage us to follow our dreams? We may think “My dream is to live on a tropical island, but life won’t let me. It limits me and it makes me feel miserable.” Yet it never was life that did that to you. It was you! Nothing stops you from following your dream other than the thought that life is somehow stopping you! People live on tropical islands. They do what island people do and you could be one of them if you really wanted it. You have been stopping yourself from going because you were afraid. But life wasn’t ever scary. It isn’t scary for many people around the world. For those people life is a joy, and they will think you are crazy for deciding it was otherwise.
How many of us have been waiting for the perfect circumstance in order for us to enjoy life? All of this waiting puts the onus on life to change for us, and it is never about that! It’s about us deciding how we want to experience life. Nobody said life needs to be about shopping malls, 9-5 jobs and tax returns. WE decided that! Yes, WE did! Nobody said life needs to be set up so that people separate themselves according to nations. Nobody said people have to live in a cold part of the world when they don’t want to. WE decided all of it!
So if we aren’t happy with what we have decided it’s up to us to change our decision. Life doesn’t care if we decide differently. It will change when we change. It will be fun when we decide we want it to be fun. It will be joyful when we decide we want it to be joyful. It’s always up to us!!
“The very fact that life exists as it does- interconnected- is proof of its integrative and supportive nature. If it was negative in nature to even one portion of itself, the whole thing would quickly collapse in on itself as the unsupported part of it would pull everything down with it in its fearful attempts at survival.”—
“It isn’t mistakes or failures that stop us from growing; it is denying the mistakes and failures we made or avoiding them altogether by sticking with the safest choices. It is trying to avoid feeling imperfect or guilty that ultimately stops our growth.”—
“Know that as long as there is growing to do, there will be varying degrees of discomfort. There will be mistakes and failures. So stop looking at all that is uncomfortable in the world or in your personal life as anything other than signs of our potential collective growth and your own personal growth. The willingness to feel this discomfort, see it as a sign of our potential, and accept it, is what will allow us to grow.”—
“I think I would enjoy my life a lot more if I made more decisions from my heart rather than my mind. There is a huge difference in the decisions I make from my heart and the ones I make from my mind. Heart-based decisions feel life affirming- they are full of life and passion. They also tend to be more spontaneous because they are based on feelings in the moment, which is where all of life takes place. Mind-based decisions tend to feel a bit robotic and dead. They take me out of the moment and get me thinking about the future more than the present. I drift away from life and feel much more vague and hazy because of this.”—
“Accept the role you played in creating all of your current circumstances. I know it hurts initially to take on that responsibility but accepting your role as creator allows you to accept the power to change the circumstance. Avoiding the initial pain of responsibility by denying your role as creator and making someone else responsible for your circumstance takes away your power to do anything about it. This creates a deeper, longer-lasting pain created by an unchanging negative circumstance, along with the misery of disempowerment.”—
Don’t think “I want to enjoy life;” think “I choose to enjoy life!”
Don’t think “I hope things get better for me;” think “I choose for things to get better for me!”
Don’t think “I want to be happy;” think “I choose to be happy!”
Don’t think “I want to be treated nicely;” think “I choose to be treated nicely!”
Make decisive statements. Don’t leave it up to something else or someone else to decide for you.
The first set of statements are passive, disempowering ones. The second set are affirmative and empowering. To create the greatest, most powerful effect in your life, you must consistently make affirmative, empowering statements.
But, don’t leave these decisive, affirmative thoughts and statements in your mind. Act on them! Act as if you really have chosen happiness, enjoyment and a better life. Be truly happy, as if it is a choice you have made- because it is.
Consciously behave as if the words “want”, “hope” and “wish” have been replaced by the word “choose” in your vocabulary. Then when others ask you why you’re happy, healthy and successful, and why life seems to be treating you well, simply tell them the truth: you chose these experiences for you, and so they are.
Alright guys, I want to see stories of how people’s lives have changed since you started reading positive stuff.
What did you change about yourself? In what way did your life change? Are you really living your dreams or just playing around with the idea? Any stories about positive syncronicity?
I started a Google community for a type of social self-help, where people take on the challenge to change themselves and their lives using the kind of information I and others like me write about. We could share actual results and give feedback on obstacles and challenges. I thought of it as a type of course that people can take to actually master the art of consciously creating themselves and their lives. So far 2 people have joined, haha. So I think people aren’t too hot on the idea. If that doesn’t suit people, maybe you guys can send personal stories about challenges you’re facing or successes you’ve already had. Send them anonymously if you want. Then people can give feedback on what worked for them in a similar situation or they can get encouragement from your success!
By the way, I’d like some feedback too! I am definitely not yet the positive person I want to be and I think it’s because I feel a bit weird or alone about my perspective. It’s nice to give support and to be supported! So everyone out there who is learning to consciously develop and create themselves, let’s get a bit of a conversation going and help each other grow through dialogue instead of each person going at it alone! What do you think?